


Of Chaos and of Beauty

by Sleepless_in_Starbucks



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Good Boyfriend Logic | Logan Sanders, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Stars, self-deprecation, specifically in relation to disliking one's body/apperance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:56:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23060563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sleepless_in_Starbucks/pseuds/Sleepless_in_Starbucks
Summary: Remy knew he wasn’t ugly, just... a little wrong. Put him next to Logan, easily the most beautiful man Remy had ever seen, and... well... a ‘little’ wrong suddenly seemed like a lot.
Relationships: Logic | Logan Sanders/Sleep | Remy Sanders
Comments: 23
Kudos: 97





	Of Chaos and of Beauty

Remy was sitting on the beach. Behind him was the beach house his parents owned and that he and his boyfriend had borrowed for the weekend. Small waves lapped up towards him, many nearly reaching his bare feet but none fully managing it, and above him the sky was clear and open, brimming with stars shining brightly against the dark night sky.

Not that Remy could see any of that, with his legs pulled up to his chest and his forehead set against them.

He and Logan had arrived here only a few hours earlier, just as the sun was beginning to set. They had unpacked the car, enjoyed a lovely if late dinner, and decided to call it an early night in respect to all the last-minute packing and traveling they had had to do that day.

Where Logan had fallen asleep quickly, however, Remy had remained awake- not of his own choice, of course; if it was his call, he'd be snuggled against Logan's chest and fast asleep right now. But it hadn't been his own choice, so awake he remained, left to do little more than admire his sleeping boyfriend.

It wasn't a bad past time, to be fair. Logan was gorgeous, from his lightly tanned skin that was decorated with freckles from the tip of his nose to the tips of his toes to his black hair that he normally had in a braid but left loose when he slept to how well-proportioned he was, with legs that weren't too long and shoulders that weren't too wide. If he wasn't so intent on becoming some sort of fancy scientist, Logan could've been a model- in Remy's opinion anyways.

But the peace and contentment of the moment couldn't last forever. Eventually, still running his hand through Logan's hair, Remy's thoughts turned from Logan's body to his own.

It wasn't like Remy was bad-looking or anything, he just... wasn't right. He had been described as 'tall and lanky' before, but where most people seemed to consider that a good thing, it just made Remy feel awkward and uncoordinated. He felt like he jutted out in ways he shouldn't. Where Logan had freckles dotting his skin, Remy had various scars and bruises that he never remembered getting and that more often than not never went away.

Remy wasn't sure that was enough to call himself ugly. He was still nice enough to look at, he supposed. But when you put him next to someone as stunning as Logan...

Soon enough, Remy had given up trying to turn his thoughts solely back to Logan. He headed outside instead, needing to get away from the boyfriend he loved greatly and just as greatly didn't deserve. He had planned to stargaze, to try and find his favorite constellations, but he was too distracted to focus, and instead had ended up like this. Sitting at the edge of the ocean and trying to curl into himself and disappear.

Remy shifted his head so that his chin was resting on his knees, now watching the waves before him. The sounds of the ever-moving ocean and the softness of the sand masked the quiet sound of steps approaching him, and it wasn't until Logan had come to sit down next to him that Remy realized he was there.

"Sorry to wake you." Remy mumbled, not bothering to explain anything. Logan knew he couldn't always fall asleep right away. He also knew that Remy only ever got up when something was bothering him, normally preferring to just lay with Logan until he could drift off.

Logan didn't respond, opting instead to quietly ocean watch with Remy. Remy realized soon enough that Logan wasn't just ocean watching but Remy watching as well, but he ignored that. Logan was trying to figure out what was wrong, and Remy trying to avoid his gaze would only, to Logan, cement the fact that something was indeed wrong.

Of course, if he came to that conclusion, he wouldn't be wrong, but Remy just preferred he not come to that conclusion.

"You know, stars aren't all that nice."

Remy looked over at Logan, finally, faintly bewildered. "Are you looking for a fight, or...?"

Logan wasn't looking at Remy, instead looking upwards, watching the stars he had just insulted. "Up close, I mean. They're bright, much too bright for humans to ever look at. And even if they weren't, they're still rather messy. Just... piles of various elements all attaching and forming bonds and burning and exploding a million times over again, with little to no true order or reason. But they're beautiful. By Galileo, how he is beautiful."

Remy pretended he didn't hear the rather obvious pronoun (and therefore subject) shift, though from the way his throat tightened and his eyes started to burn threateningly, it seemed his pretending wasn't going to be wholly successful. "And what about it, sugar?"

Logan looked away from the stars then, turning instead to face Remy. He reached forwards as well, unwrapping one of Remy's arms from around his legs and taking that hand in his own, thumb running against the back of it. "I think... well, I think that that means that sometimes, the pieces you have to work with aren't what you'd consider to be the best. Sometimes the parts you have are messy, and sometimes they don't fit together in a way that makes perfect sense."

Logan's hand released Remy's, Logan pausing as he trailed his hand up Remy's arm, gently running over all his small cuts and unexplainable marks until he got to his face, moving to cup Remy's cheek and lift his head from his knees, making him meet Logan's eyes. "But that doesn't mean you are anything less than absolutely stunning."

A single tear ran down Remy's face. Logan wiped it away before it made it far.

"I love you." Remy murmured, voice quiet but strong and nothing short of entirely genuine.

Logan's mouth quirked into a half-smile as he gently tugged Remy towards him, Remy leaning against his shoulder as Logan pressed a kiss against his forehead.

"I love you too." He responded, just as softly and just as sincerely. "Do you want to head inside now?"

Remy shifted his head into the crook of Logan's neck, closing his eyes against his boyfriend's soft and warm skin, not responding at first as he focused on the comfort Logan provided in his natural warmth and the soft brush of his hair against Remy's cheek and the soothing circles he was rubbing into Remy's back.

"Yeah. Let's go inside." Remy answered finally, unable to see the stars from where his face was still hidden against Logan's neck, but certain that they were still there, still spinning, still shining, still existing in all their chaos and all their beauty.

**Author's Note:**

> more losleep madness to be found on my tumblr at @sleepless-in-starbucks


End file.
